Church Bulletin Bloopers

Here is a collection of humorous church bulletin bloopers (typographical errors) ...

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

Thursday night ... pot luck supper. Prayer and medication will follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both ends.

Tuesday at four there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the church basement Friday.

The Reverend Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the congregation.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,  ‘Break Forth Into Joy."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Men's Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.

This morning’s sermon: “Jesus walks on the water”. Tonight’s sermon: “Where is Jesus?”

During this morning’s meeting, be sure to smile and say hell to someone new.

Ladies, don’t forget our rummage sale. Here’s a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping. Bring your husband along.

[Source Unknown]